Chipotle Enables All Those Special Order A$$holes

Are you a special order asshole?

My husband is.  He can't just order a whopper.  It's got to be a whopper with cheese, no mayo, add bacon, hold the lettuce, with some crap on the side.

And this is my problem with Chipotle.  Those bastards encourage this behavior.  I stopped there today to pick up something quickly.  I opened the door and there were about 15 people in line.  And it's because of this ordering nonsense.

"Do you want black or pinto beans?"

"Hmmm, um, let me get, uh....Oh, can I get half and half?"

Bitch.

Even old ladies are jackin' up the system.

"Oh, let me get summa them pinto beans."

"What kind of salsa do you want?"

"That corn relish sure do look good.  Do you have that with the creamed corn?"

But finally I get my turn at bat.  I ordered the steak bowl with black beans like it was nobody's business.  But then the perplexing discovery that a bowl, chips and guacamole and a drink are $11!!  When did rice get so fucking expensive?  Aren't there, like, 3 billion people growing rice in China?

Oh wait, that was before they all got called to work in the factories to make us our pillow pets, Denver Broncos snuggies, and vibrators (that's right, a bunch of Chinese people man-handled your crotch rocket before you ordered it from Adam and Eve). 

You know what?  I'm just going to pack a lunch from now on.   It's much less aggravating.